Crawling Out Of The Closet Reluctantly
by IWatchTVStaticAndThinkIt'sFun
Summary: Crawling Out Of The Closet Reluctantly: A Five Step Guide by Dean Winchester. AU kind of :)


**Crawling Out Of The Closet Reluctantly: A Five Step Guide by Dean Winchester**

Stage 1: Denial

First off, let me make myself abundantly clear. I am not gay.

No, not me. You'll never see _me _locking lips with a guy in the back of a darkened cinema, and no matter how many times you tell me that being gay is better accepted nowadays my stance on this will not change. Boobs are my thing. Big boobs. I know how boobs work. Boobs are great, they're safe and they're easy to work.

I mean, if you saw me you'd know why the idea of me being gay is completely ludicrous. My dad owns a garage. I've been working in it since I was able to hold a wrench without falling over. And yeah, that may be despicably stereotypical of me. 'Look at me, I work with cars, there's no way I could be into guys! I don't like fashion or dancing!' but that is _not _the reason why I'm mentioning my job. I know gay guys can work in garages. I know gay guys _do _work in garages, which is why I guess I'm bringing up my job.

Because, let me tell you. If you worked in _my _garage you'd see what I mean when I say I'm definitely not gay.

And what I _mean _is this. If there were any possibility whatsoever that I'm gay then I would have jumped Castiel ages ago.

I'm seventeen; I'm a teenager, so believe me when I say that if I were gay then I would _definitely _know by now. Especially considering…

It's not gay for a guy to admit when another guy is attractive right? Right! And, believe me, any guy who looked at Cas would know he's attractive, gay or not.

Which Cas is. Gay, I mean.

Stage 2: Attraction (And more denial)

Okay, I know it's hot and all, I mean it's the middle of the summer and we work in a stifling room, hammering cars all day, so yeah. It's hot.

But, come on! You don't just take your shirt off when there's another guy in the room with you! I don't know what it is with Cas, maybe no one ever thought to tell him about that rule (because it totally should be a rule. Seriously.) but he is a little odd. A little strange.

Not bad on the eyes though.

…. Shut up. Like I said, it's _not _gay for a guy to admit another guy is attractive!

But yeah, okay, Cas took his shirt off. And I couldn't stop watching him. Watching him work on the car that is! I mean, it was a 1967 Chevy Impala I'm not going to let a novice screw a beautiful piece of machinery like that up!

I'm just thinking about the car. Obviously.

Step 3: Confusion :

Okay so I don't know what the heck just happened and I know that I definitely liked - didn't like it! Cas just _kissed _me! As in, full blown make out kiss that should not happen between two guy friends, especially if one of them is straight! Which I definitely… am…. Right.

So I was just working on the impala (the old owner trashed it and gave it to us for scraps. Like I'm going to let that amazing car go to waste!) and I asked Cas to fetch me a wrench. He was taking ages so I turned and then he was there. I'm pretty sure that the force with which he pushed me down onto the car made a bruise and I definitely know that I hit my head too hard 'cause I've been getting all these _feelings _and _urges _about _Cas _and that is _not _something a heterosexual male does!

I think I need to… Have a beer or something. This is all completely messing with my head.

Step 4: Acceptance:

So… yeah there may be this tiny chance that I'm into Cas. Not dudes. Just… Cas. Yeah.

We haven't talked about it, although I think he wants to. I think he feels … guilty. Which he shouldn't because I'm sure I enjoyed it just as much as he did, if not more. But any time I try to approach him he runs off somewhere and it's all getting extremely frustrating. He may be good looking but damn if he's not the most socially awkward sixteen year old I've ever met.

Sammy would like him.

Step 5 Admittance:

So… I told my brother. Sammy, he's younger than me. He's only twelve right now. I told him I liked another guy and… he didn't even blink. Accepted it and then a few seconds later asked if we could get dinner. That kid… He blows my mind every time.

Bobby accepted it too. Didn't care whatsoever. It's times like this that I'm kind of glad dad's dead. Dad was a man's man. I doubt he'd have taken too kindly to me liking a guy.

Which, by the way, has straightened itself out. I mean, not in the way that I no longer like him or anything I still do. But… yeah. He likes me too and… well. We're kind of going out now.

Which is pretty damn awesome if you ask me.


End file.
